Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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