**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
