i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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