Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
