5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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