it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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