As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize