i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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