quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
