I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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