Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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