shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
