You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
