Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
