if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize