if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
