Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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