I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm like, not good at living.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize