Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
where are my eyebrows?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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