Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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