YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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