Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
