why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
