i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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