Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
