I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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