I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
