the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
