Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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