I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
