I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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