A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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