I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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