ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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