I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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