TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
