Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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