She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
