Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
