We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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