They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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