we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
