This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
