Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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