sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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