why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
