Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
