my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
