Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They took my balls.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
