I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
