Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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