Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
