okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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