didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
