I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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