Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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