he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
