i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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