why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
