hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
