Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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