Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
