David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
