I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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