I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My ATM looks so different sober.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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