Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
