My hand turned me down
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
